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CHICKEN NEWS #11 "THE EXISTENCE"and the "REVENURE"

from the BUTTERFLY TREE

HEADLINE :At the Axis of Existential Existence

from the War Zone

CREEK CITY, CA

March, 2006

The problem is, we don't know where the enemy is. . .

or what they're after . . . or who they are . . . or who's side to be on. . .

or who's chopping the trees up . . .  or who's chopping them down. . .

we don't even know if the terrorists have landed on the beach at Normandy or not! In fact we don't know whether to vote for Klaus Barbie or French Resistence because we don't know which side THEY are on or if they are our enemies.

The BIG QUESTION is. . . what do we do individually, while deciding whether or not to believe in the  EXSTENTIAL EXISTENCE . . . of . . . EVIL . or even to believe in the Existential EXISTENCE of  AN AXIS!

The EXISTENCE  may have infiltrated the National Park Service, the grocery stores, the mailboxes, yes! right here in CREEK CITY!(Where the great eucalyptus trees were eliminated by mistake, where we used to see the spotted owl, the red legged frogs, the pond turtles, and the beloved salmon).  Believe it or not, Ripley, I even wrote a poem 30 years ago called "Believing in Salmon!"

Now here at the creek in CREEK CITY. is where the Park Service now wants to make a place for a one lane trail for the following users: hikers, bikers, runners, horses, children, grannies, and fire trucks, and all that goes along with each of the "users", i.e. garbage, litter, uniforms, helmets, and the poop of stallions! (However we are still unsure where they house the RIFLE RANGE.)

But back to the poop of stallions, for the poop of stallions is the most interesting item which we all must provide for, because while horses have enough dignity to shit in public, leaving behind them the remains of grain and hay which they have eaten, the human population cannot do that!

For one thing, humans just don't have the dignity of  stallions or a profound understanding of their own human nature. Only the lunatic population of the human species would take such advantage of the great outdoors as to poop in public. . .SO now we need bathrooms. We need bathrooms and mailboxes and buses. . . of course we need buses to get to the bathrooms, horses to get to the mailboxes, and bicycles to get to the storeÑthe grocery store where we might be harboring terrorists!

In that case, we really need to get funds so we can hire someone to take care of the preparations for DISASTER, because wherever there are terrorists, disaster will follow. . . actually wherever there are NO terrorists disaster may follow, (even if we all ride only bicycles) which is why we need to throw salt over our shoulder to prevent litter. (Although the best witches never do this, some priests have been known to have the proper touch for encouraging their own private preventions).

But now that we have bathrooms and bus stops for our historic sites, we also must have REVENUE . . no, silly . . NOT for keeping the bathrooms cleaned, or dead limbs from falling on people who walk under the trees,

or repairing and beautifying or maintaining our public bathrooms, historic sites, parks, or trees, but we must have GIFT SHOPS for the "users" to sell pictures of  all the wild animals and plants, and places that people can't see any more, (because they are unemployed and can't get out of the city), to pay the salaries of the park rangers,  maintainence crews, and many big corporation executives who derive profit  from our tour buses, publishing companies (both housed in NY) and producers of gift shop junk, all the cute little carvings of  frogs, owls, turtles, toads, and stallions which are found in every National Park kiosk! (The stallions, who by the way, continue to poop with dignity and emit sublime disregard for the stupidity  of the human race).

NO, we must have REVENURE, excuse me REVENUE, to support our parks, because the income taxes we pay to our beloved government do not pay for our parks. . . oh, no, the parks must be self supporting and so create gift shops, donations, tours, fees, and bathrooms and kiosks, for all of us who want to "use" the national parks to create revenue for corporations.

I can't remember who it was that said to me the other day, "NO! NO MORE! NO BUSES, NO BUS STOP, NO BATHROOMS, NO BIKERS, NO GIFT SHOPS NO  HORSEPOOP no BULLSH___T.

Honestly, what's a girl to do? Time to clean out the chicken coop. The ducks are laying . . .

© 2006 by In Between Books and Karla Andersdatter

Readers may forward as they see fit, but may not reproduce or copy by any means except to print out one copy for their own use.

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